How could we not have known? Seven years of wasting away. At age 13 when people asked us if she had that “teenage attitude” yet, we would say no and assure them it wouldn’t happen to her. She was active with church activities, music lessons, and loved being with the family; but by age 15, it felt like we had lost her.
We knew there was a problem, but we couldn’t nail down the source. There were odd physical ailments. She had lost interest in the family, music lessons, sports, and church youthgroup. She didn’t enjoy anything she used to, and seemed to be getting depressed. She wasn’t openly rebellious; she didn’t miss curfew. She had good grades, and we knew her friends and their parents (the ones she let us know). We tried to be supportive and understanding. We took her to the doctor, a child psychologist, and a church counselor. The experts must have known, but they were not allowed to tell us what the actual problem was.
So we continued to fight an unseen enemy. Something we couldn’t touch, but we could feel, the shadow of which dimmed our home. I began fasting and praying regularly for protection of our family and freedom for our daughter. I prayed Isaiah 58:6 to reach God’s heart:
Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke?
After a year of serious prayer it seemed that the heaviness was lifted from our home. A lightness returned, and we were able to joke around again and enjoy each other’s company. The constant tension was relieved for my husband, son, and me, but not our daughter. She spent more and more time out of the house. When we tried to search her room or double check her location, things seemed to check out ok. We were throwing blind punches in the thickening atmosphere separating us and our child. That sounds melodramatic, but now the light of truth has revealed the full situation, it doesn’t even remotely describe the critical battle that had been going on for years.
My husband asked her several times point blank if she was doing drugs, but she denied it and it seemed unthinkable. Heroin is cruelly deceptive. It is cheaper and easier to get for kids than alcohol, and you can’t smell it on the breath. I never saw her red-eyed, just sleepy, and she had so many little physical problems she took medication for, it masked it.
With no evidence of her wrongdoing, I felt like maybe I was the crazy one. It was a shadow war. My assumptions and attempts to help my daughter were sightless grasping into a dark pit. I couldn’t take the anxiety of trying to be a detective, so I had to settle on the Lord’s omniscience. My prayer became, “Please reveal what I need to know when I need to know it.” God answered this prayer. The times that circumstances came to light were not when I was frantically searching for clues, but out of the blue when I was at peace.
In some ways the ignorance was a blessing. Even now I think our attempts to brake her addiction would have been futile. She had rejected our lifestyle and us, and she was determined to go her own way.
If you are bewildered and wondering how you didn’t know about your child’s addiction, or if you are frustrated and terrified you won’t be able to save your child, please determine to settle into God’s omniscience and omnipotence. You are not smart enough or strong enough to fight this shadow war alone.
-For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Eph. 6:12-13 (Our battle)
-We know that we are of God, and that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one. 20 And we know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life. 1 John 5:19-20 (Our battle)
– And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. Heb. 4:13* (God’s knowledge)
–Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite. Ps. 147:5 (God’s power and knowledge)
-In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Rom. 8:26-28 (God’s knowledge)
-and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5 so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God…But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; 1 Cor. 2:4-5, 7 (God’s power trumps our persuasive words)
-For indeed He was crucified because of weakness, yet He lives because of the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, yet we will live with Him because of the power of God directed toward you. 2 Cor. 13:4 (God’s power over death)
*Several references above were compiled by thoughtfulfaith @ wordpress.com — https://thoughtfulfaith.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/ten-bible-verses-god-is-omniscient/#comment-8172